Scaffolding: Raising Resilient Children

Just like scaffolding can be used to support buildings as they are being worked on, the parenting strategy of ‘scaffolding’ is a useful tool for your arsenal. This technique allows growth, but with (temporary) support. Think of how you taught your children how to walk- first by fully supporting them, then giving them less support but still holding their hands, then maybe
holding only one hand, and lastly being there in case they fell and hurt themselves. You gave them the needed support without doing the task for them. Take that example and put it towards other skills that your children are working on- whether that is independence skills, academic skills, or making new friends.

It is important to consider the developmental age of your child. While you may think that they are ready to accomplish a skill independently, they may need more support. Remember that this support is intended to be temporary (although temporary is a relative term- it may take months or more of support!). The goal is for parents/caregivers to do a gradual reduction of support over time. Don’t expect mastery immediately! 

Some benefits of gradually reducing support include increased confidence and self-esteem, being better at problem-solving, and fostering independence. Also, the child starts to learn how to go about mastering a new skill which will serve them well as they grow and mature.

Scaffolding involves-

(1) Structure: Decide what skill(s) you are going to work on (you can’t pick everything all at once!) and put together some structure and routines to help. Make sure the kiddo knows the what and the why of the plan. Expectations and any kind of rules should be made clear (to everyone- family members need to be on the same page).
(2) Support: Give validation, especially when the skills is more challenging to learn. You can do it with them, but not for them!
(3) Encouragement: Push your child to do hard things and risk not being great right away.

At a basic level, the scaffolding technique encourages children to explore and try to figure things out with the support of a parent/caregiver. Once they begin to see that they have the ability to work through challenges, they likely will be more open to trying new things in the future.